


nothing's been going my way for a long time

by burnthehousedown



Category: Nashville (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnthehousedown/pseuds/burnthehousedown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Juliette struggles to deal with her emotions after cheating on Avery, and Rayna provides some unexpected comfort. An alternate ending to the season two finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nothing's been going my way for a long time

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm a little bit obsessed with the idea of this ship, and with Juliette Barnes in general. I just think she's a fascinating character, and I couldn't resist writing a sort of internal monologue for her and exploring her mentality a bit. I hope I've come at least close to getting these characters right - this is the first time I've written for this fandom - but any constructive criticism would be awesome. Thank you for reading!

Stepping back into her dressing room and closing the door behind her before leaning back against it and sighing tiredly, Juliette wondered for the umpteenth time how the _fuck_ she had gotten here. Playing at LP Field in front of thousands of fans, having come out the other side of her stint as a pariah in the country music industry, only to hate herself more than anyone else ever could. The cheering didn’t matter. The ecstatic smiles she knew she would see when she finally left her dressing room to head to the after party didn’t mean anything to her. She would smile in return and sign albums and pose for photographs, but she knew that there was a difference between being adored and deserving love. And she was neither, really. Her fans couldn’t adore _her_ – not when they had no idea about the person she really was.

No, she did know how she had gotten here. She had slept with Jeff Fordham. She had stooped to the lowest of lows, and she hadn’t even felt bad about it. Not in the moment. She had clearly lost all sense of rationality and thought so little of herself that Jeff seemed like her only option for…what? An escape from reality? A false sense of being wanted? Shaking her head and practically tearing her costume off, Juliette walked over to the mirror to touch up her makeup and gave a side-glace to the outfit she had hanging up on the wall, picked out especially for the after party. Short and low-cut and tight, the dress was a triple-threat in seduction – and brazenness – and something that felt all too familiar to Juliette. She supposed she should make the most of this time when she could pull off dresses like that one – although Rayna didn’t have any trouble looking good in dresses just this side of decent – but it made her stomach start churning to think of the future like that, a time _after_ and a point at which she’d have to ask herself _what next?_

Dark thoughts aside, Juliette donned the dress and gave herself one last look in the mirror before grabbing her purse and exiting the dressing room. She swept past Glenn and Emily, handing her purse to the latter as she approached the stage door. The security guard opened it for her, and she was immediately assailed with the incoherent screams of her fans – or Rayna’s fans, or Luke’s fans. Who knew? She made her way patiently around the barriers, signing albums and posters and scraps of paper for the first row of the crowd, and anyone else who managed to reach over the mass of people. The crowd started to push forward and the metal barrier swayed for a second, looking like it was about to topple over, but the guard outside righted it before it could fall. Juliette exhaled the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding – she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but it actually frightened her a little, this chaos whenever she went out in public. It was like she was a moving target, but had no idea who was after her.

“I love you, Juliette!” she heard from someone on her left. Turning to shoot a smile at the girl who the voice belonged to, she was met with a ridiculously awestruck expression, and more shrieking. “She looked at me! Did you see her look at me?” The girl was now wrapped up in an enthusiastic conversation with her friend, and Juliette turned away again, wondering – not for the first time – how these people could throw around words like _love_ so easily.

“I don’t care what they say,” a man in front of her stated, while she hurriedly signed the album he had given to her and tried to hand it back. “You’re still an amazing performer. Indiscretions aside. I mean, it’s really no one else’s business, is it?”

“You would think so,” Juliette replied in the driest tone she could muster, before she could censor herself. Taking a breath, she collected herself and added, “Thank you for your support,” with a tight smile. What felt like hundreds of autographs later (but was probably closer to twenty) and after an uncomfortable interaction with a fan who wouldn’t let go of her arm, Juliette’s patience was running thin. She caught Emily’s gaze, and the assistant nodded towards the car waiting for them, asking silently if she was ready to go. Juliette gave a small nod and sighed in relief as Emily went to go let Glenn know they were leaving. 

“Thanks y’all!” she shouted towards the crowd, finally making her way to her car and clambering in as gracefully as she could, with the dress and the heels she was wearing. She was exhausted already, and she still had the after party to battle her way through. 

*          *         *

An hour later, Juliette was already three drinks in and waiting for a fourth, because the alcohol was not doing nearly enough to dull the pain of being at this party. If she had to listen to one more stuck-up executive tell her how sorry they were about what had happened to her, she might just jump up on the bar and start yelling at people, just so Glenn would drag her away from here. And when those executives weren’t telling her how to live her life, they were looking her up and down and walking away like she was bad news.

(Well, she was. But they didn’t have to be rude about it.)

Taking her drink from the bartender with a half-hearted smile, the blonde turned around, only to come face-to-face with Jeff Fordham. The smirk on his face was all she needed to know that this interaction was going to make her horrible night even worse.

“What do you want?” she said, making her voice as acerbic as possible.

“Nothing,” he replied, his smirk only growing wider. “I just saw you over here and thought you looked like you needed some company.”

“Well, your company isn’t all that pleasant, so I think I’ll be on my way.” Juliette did her best to push past Jeff and escape through the growing crowd at the bar, but he reached out to stop her, and the weight of his hand on her shoulder sent a shiver down her spine.

“I don’t see why you’re in such a rush.” Even his voice was oily. “I know there’s really no more damage I could do to your relationship with Avery. You destroyed that all on your own – thank you for that, by the way. But I’m sure you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about the lengths you’re going to in order to get back to Edgehill, would you?”

Closing her eyes and trying to tamp down the nausea that was suddenly overwhelming her, Juliette turned around, shaking Jeff’s hand off of her shoulder in the process. “Don’t touch me. And if you think you could possibly do _any_ more damage to my life than you already have, then you’re even dumber than I thought you were.”

The CEO placed a hand over his heart and adopted a wounded expression. “Such hurtful words. But you shouldn’t let your anger dictate your actions, sweetie. There is a _lot_ more damage that I could do to your career, and your life. Don’t underestimate me.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I know exactly what you’re capable of. I just don’t care anymore.” The blonde turned again and started to walk away, but she was stopped in her tracks when Jeff spoke again.

“Are you sure about that? Because from where I am, and what I’ve seen, it seems like you care an awful lot for someone who claims to be made of stone.”

Feeling her shoulders stiffen, Juliette took a moment to breathe and decide whether she had the energy – or the patience – to turn back to face this snake of a man. After a second, the tingling behind her cheekbones that told her when she was about to lose it had subsided, and she inhaled shakily before spinning to face the CEO again.

“I may not be sure about a lot right now, Jeff, but I do know that I never want to see your face or hear your voice. Ever. Again. That probably won’t be possible, but just know that every time you come within a hundred feet of me, you’re putting your wellbeing at risk. Because I do not like you, and even if I don’t know what to do at this moment to make you pay for what you’ve said to me, for how you’ve made me feel – and countless others, I’m sure – I _will_ think of something. And when I do, boy will you be sorry.”

Striding away from the bar as fast as she could – and away from Jeff’s infuriatingly smug expression – still! –Juliette tried to keep her breathing even. There was no way she was staying in this room for a moment longer, not when Jeff was clearly completely unfazed and probably ready for round two, and when there were just too many people around who would jump at the chance to find out _how she was_ if she seemed at all unsettled to them. Breakdowns were a form of entertainment in this industry, and she was no stranger to them. She just preferred to have hers in private.

*          *         *

Collapsing onto a seat in an alcove just outside the main bar area, Juliette finally allowed herself to relax. She closed her eyes, took two deep breaths, and then heard a pair of heels approaching her. Perfect.

She opened her eyes and saw Rayna standing not three feet away from her, looking down at her sprawled out on the seat as if she hadn’t been in the same position a hundred times before. “Don’t even start with me, unless you’ve found a solution to one of my _many_ problems.”

“Oh, _you_ have problems,” the older women retorted. “You’re not the one with a label that’s about to tank, a house on the line, and who was just proposed to in front of, oh, just a few thousand people.”

“You’re not the one who has to deal with _Jeff Fordham_ ,” Juliette spat out. 

Motioning for the blonde to move over, Rayna sat down next to her and sighed. “In all fairness, honey, I do have to deal with him. But I know it’s a lot worse for you now than it is for me." 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Juliette’s walls immediately came up, and she couldn’t help the sharp tone of her voice as she turned to look directly at the woman sitting beside her.

“You know what I mean, Juliette.” At the expectant look on the blonde’s face, Rayna went on as patiently as she could. “I mean that you shouldn’t have to put up with all of this stuff. I mean, most of the time you get yourself into trouble, but it’s still…” She faltered after noticing the fierce glare that Juliette was shooting at her, but she pushed forward. “Everyone deserves respect. Well, most people. And Jeff Fordham is an asshole.”

“ _That_ we can agree on.” After a moment, Juliette added, more quietly, “I don’t know why I slept with him.”

“Do you really not know?”

Rayna’s question wasn’t an accusation, but Juliette still felt defensive as she answered, “I act before I think. Most of the time. Are you saying you could tell me the reasons behind every decision you’ve ever made?”

“I’m not saying they’d be _good_ reasons. But I could come up with at least a half-decent explanation for why I did what I did, yeah.”

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t have any explanations for you, Rayna. I’ll try harder next time.”

“Hey, that’s fine with me. I was just asking.” Glancing down to inspect her shoes – not to avoid meeting the blonde’s gaze, that would be silly – Rayna ventured, “You just seem pretty unsettled by the whole thing. I’d be good to know how you got here, just to avoid getting hurt again in the future.”

“I don’t need your protection, Rayna.”

The older woman sighed and rolled her eyes. “Of course you don’t. I’ll let you take care of yourself from now on, then.”

Juliette watched the redhead stand up and start to walk away, but she couldn’t help the words that came tumbling out of her mouth. “And I’m not hurt. He didn’t hurt me, I’m…I’m fine. I’m more than fine.”

Turning around and raising an eyebrow at the blonde, Rayna responded, “Well, you could have fooled me. Especially last night when I had to hold your hair back while you got half a bottle of vodka out of your system.”

Feeling her cheeks heat up – from the alcohol, not from anything else – Juliette’s reply was disgruntled and barely audible. “It’s not like that happens all the time. It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t because…it didn’t mean anything.”

Rayna crossed her arms and huffed out a breath. “You’re welcome, by the way.” Realizing she wasn’t going to get a response any time soon from the blonde, but sensing that it probably wasn’t a good idea to leave her alone right now, Rayna sat back down next to her and leaned her head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. After a moment of not-uncomfortable silence, Juliette finally spoke up.

“So, you’re not too happy that Luke wanted to share your engagement with a stadium full of people?”

“I…I don’t even know if we _are_ engaged,” Rayna said with a half-hearted laugh. “I did the best I could to hold it together up on stage, but – he shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t…” With a sigh, she turned to Juliette and met her gaze before admitting, “I didn’t really have a choice.”

Looking away, Juliette added, “No, I guess you didn’t.”

“And he’s pretty angry at me now. For being angry, if you can believe that. God, sometimes people are just impossible." 

“You don’t have to tell that to me. I hate everyone ninety percent of the time.”

“Including me.”

Laughing, Juliette conceded, “Yes. But you’re not so bad. I mean…there’re people who’re a lot worse than you. You’re tolerable.”

“Wow, if you don’t stop with the compliments soon, you’re gonna make me blush.”

“I do what I can.” Her lips quirking at how easy it was for her to keep up this friendly banter with Rayna, Juliette marvelled at how far they had actually come. A year ago, she would have bet good money that Rayna really did hate her. Now, she thought that might not even be close to the truth. Which was a lot for someone who had seen news footage of people burning pictures of her only months ago.

“Well, don’t you two look cosy?”

Neither woman had noticed Jeff approach them, and now the sight of him leaning against the entrance to the alcove made Juliette’s stomach churn just a little. And she started to feel a headache coming on.

“Jeff, what an unwelcome surprise,” Rayna deadpanned.

“Don’t be like that. I was only coming over here to congratulate you both on your show tonight. And on the engagement,” he added, smirking at Rayna.

“Well, forgive me if it’s hard to take your congratulations seriously when you’ve been doing everything you can to make sure my album tanks and blackmailed Juliette to get her to come back to Edgehill. Not to mention how you took advantage of her.”

Juliette closed her eyes and rested her forehead on her hands. “Rayna, if you don’t shut up right now, I’m going to punch you _and_ Jeff in the face.” 

Turning to the blonde, Rayna asked her, “Well, are _you_ going to say something? Because if you’re not, I think at least I need to give this jackass a piece of my mind.”

Looking up and giving Rayna the most withering look she could muster, Juliette replied, “Were you not listening when I told you _two minutes_ ago that I can take care of myself?”

The CEO let out a snide chuckle. “You two really are something else. And don’t worry, Rayna, I wasn’t taking advantage of anyone. Juliette knew exactly what she was doing.”

“Go fuck yourself,” the blonde shot back.

“Well, as long as neither of you are keen to join me…” Rayna resisted the urge to throw up, and Juliette turned a few shades paler. “I’ll leave you ladies to it. And thank you, really, for all your help. As hard as I’ve tried to drive your label into the ground, you two are doing an excellent job yourselves of making sure I have nothing to worry about. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

As he walked away, Juliette took in a shuddering breath. “I really, really don’t like him.”

“You’re not alone there.” After a moment of silence, and a quick glance at Juliette, Rayna went on. “I think it’s only a matter of time before someone from the press finds me here and starts asking about the engagement. Are you ready to go? I can drop you back at your place, or I actually have some wine at home…not that I should be offering you alcohol, that’s probably a terrible – ”

“No, that sounds good,” Juliette cut in. “Let’s get out of here.” Shooting a small smile at the older woman, Juliette got to her feet (without too much difficulty) and reached out a hand to Rayna. Giving the blonde a curious glance, she grabbed hold of the hand offered to her and stood up. “Lead the way,” Juliette said, following Rayna to a side entrance and outside to the car waiting for her. 

 *         *         *

 Juliette was sitting on Rayna’s couch, waiting for the older woman to return from the kitchen. The blonde didn’t fully understand what was so damn comforting about the other woman, especially since they’d spent so much time seemingly competing against one another, but there was something about Rayna that took away some of the weight she felt, knowing how little control she had over where her life was going. Everything was in someone else’s hands, but being here…it didn’t seem to matter as much.

Walking into the living room with a bottle of wine and two glasses, Rayna gave the blonde a small smile as she took in the frown that had appeared on the younger woman’s face. She put the bottle and glasses down on the coffee table and only hesitated for a moment before taking seat on the couch next to Juliette, instead of in the armchair across from her.

Rayna opened the wine and started to pour before she spoke. “I hope you’re not too sad about leaving early. I know how you love a good party.”

Juliette turned towards the other woman and her frown was quickly replaced by her usual complacent expression. “I wouldn’t have left unless I wanted to. And anything would have been better than spending another minute in a room with Jeff. Or any of those people.”

“Well, I’m glad my hospitality means so much to you.” The redhead handed a glass to Juliette, and the younger woman sighed jadedly.

“ _Thank you_ , Rayna.” The blonde took a sip of her wine, before adding with slightly less bite, “I do appreciate it. You asking me here, I mean. I don’t really…after what happened with Avery, I don’t really want to go home. Not when there’s no one else there.” Rayna didn’t really know how to respond to this unexpected openness from the other woman, and after a moment, Juliette let out a humourless laugh and went on. “Not that I’m not used to it. Being alone. It kind of comes with the territory…but you wouldn’t know about that. You’ve always had your family with you.”

“You’d be surprised at how alone you can feel, even with people around you all the time.”

“Still. At least you _have_ people.”

“And you don’t? Come on, you can’t tell me that – ”

“No, I really don’t. I mean, I have Glenn and Emily, but – they’re not real people.” At the redhead’s raised eyebrow, Juliette added, “You know what I mean. They don’t…” She took a shuddering breath, and finally said, “I had Avery. And now he’s gone.”

“Maybe not.”

“No, you weren’t there. What he said…I don’t think he’s ever going to forgive me. I wouldn’t expect him to.”

“But you’ve got to know that there’ll be others, Juliette. Trust me, I’ve been dealing with heartbreak since before you were born, and…it doesn’t get easier, but it’s never the end. I should know.”

“It’s different when you’re easy to love, though,” Juliette said, before taking a generous sip of wine to cover her embarrassment at revealing so much in front of Rayna. Why did she suddenly have no control over the words that were spilling out of her mouth? Finally taking the glass away from her lips, the blonde cleared her throat and continued to stare at the table in front of her, instead of meeting Rayna’s gaze. “Once people figure out who I really am, they usually run. Unless they’re jerks, but I’m starting to think that's probably all I deserve. Someone who treats me like the trailer trash I am.”

“Okay, stop. That’s ridiculous.”

“Which part?”

“All of it. Can you not…do you not see what everyone else sees?” At Juliette’s perplexed look, she tried to explain herself. “Not the executives, not your manger, not people who see you as a commodity and not as a person. Your _fans_. People who actually _chant your name_ at concerts.”

“You mean the people who call me a Godless heathen and burn posters of me in the street?”

“No, I mean the people who don’t care about all of that crap. Who know when journalists are spinning stories for their own benefit.” When Juliette remained silent and continued to stare at the wineglass in her hand, Rayna shifted on the couch so that she was actually facing the blonde. “You are more than impossible sometimes, Juliette, but you _are_ talented. Even if you did your best to hide it for a _really_ long time.”

Laughing darkly and brushing away a tear that had somehow escaped onto her cheek, Juliette shook her head and finally turned to look at the woman next to her. “That doesn’t matter. I’m still _me_. And why would anyone want someone as messed up as me?”

“Well, for starters, you’re gorgeous.”

Juliette laughed again, finally with a little amusement. “Nice one, Rayna.”

“I’m being serious. Are you blind to how beautiful you are, too?” Juliette shot her a wary look, and Rayna went on. “I know that’s something everyone comments on, and not something you want to use to measure your self-worth, but…you know, talking to you tonight, you have so much more than that. You’re stunning…but you’re a beautiful person, too.” There was a moment of silence before Rayna gave in and did her best to dispel some of the awkwardness that had settled over them. “I mean, who would have thought it? Juliette Barnes has feelings.”

Juliette waited a few seconds before she lifted her head to meet Rayna’s gaze again. “You really think I’m beautiful?”

The rawness of Juliette’s expression made Rayna falter, and she gave the blonde an awkward smile. “Inside and out.”

Juliette took a shaky breath and looked away – anywhere but at the woman sitting beside her – and replied softly, “Well, you’re kind of gorgeous, too.”

Rayna opened her mouth to say something, and stopped, completely floored for a moment by Juliette’s words. “Wait, so…hang on. Um…are you…is this…”

Actually enjoying seeing the redhead unsure of herself for once, Juliette gave her a not-unkind smile and prompted her, “Are you trying to ask me a question, Rayna?”

“Yes. No. Is there…is there a reason that you’re playing with me like this? Because I really – ”

“I’m not playing with you, Rayna,” Juliette said in all seriousness, putting her wineglass down on the table and tucking her legs underneath her as she shifted away from Rayna slightly. “I might flirt with people like it’s an Olympic sport, but I’m not playing games with you.”

Taking a moment to clear her head, Rayna set her own glass down on the table and then really looked at Juliette. The blonde tried not to fidget under the other woman’s gaze. Finally, Rayna spoke. “You really want me?”

“Who wouldn’t? You’re Rayna Jaymes.”

“You do realize that I’m old enough to be your – ”

“DON’T say that when I’m about to kiss you, Rayna.” With that, the blonde had covered the few inches between them and – without missing a beat – she leant forward to capture the other woman’s lips with her own. Rayna was slightly taken by surprise, but after a few seconds, she brought her hand up to Juliette’s head, holding her there as she actually moaned into the kiss.

Juliette pulled back after a minute, a little breathless, but not nearly as breathless as Rayna. “Was that okay?” she said, trying to meet the older woman’s eyes. “I mean, I can stop if you – ”

“Like hell I’m letting you stop now,” Rayna cut in, before bringing Juliette’s lips back to her own. Juliette shifted so that she was straddling Rayna, and after a few more encouraging moans from the other woman, she slowly moved her hands down Rayna’s torso from where they had been resting on her shoulders.

Stilling her hands when they reached the older woman’s hips, Juliette broke the kiss to insist again, “Just tell me if I’m going too fast, okay?”

“You don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass, you know,” Rayna replied, dropping her hands down onto the couch.

“Well, excuse me for thinking you might be a little hesitant about being with another woman.”

“I don’t see why I should be anxious if you aren’t.”

“Well, I’ve been with other women before.” Rayna’s eyebrows shot up and Juliette rolled her eyes in response. “I suppose your opinion of me just plummeted even lower, didn’t it?”

“I think you need to stop making assumptions about what people think of you,” Rayna said, moving her hands to Juliette’s arms. “And besides, it would be pretty stupid of me to think any less of you for sleeping with women when _I’m_ planning on sleeping with you.”

“You are?” Juliette looked up from where her gaze had dropped to Rayna’s collarbone. “You don’t – ” The blonde cleared her throat before continuing. “You know you don’t have to do this to prove anything. Or to make me feel better. I’ll be fine.”

Letting out a light laugh and lifting a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Juliette’s ear, Rayna said, “This is kind of crazy. I never expected _you_ to be so unsure of yourself when it came to this. Looks, sex, whatever. I know people say that everyone’s unsure about that stuff, that’s what they tell you, but…still. I never expected it from you.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Juliette replied, looking away from the older woman.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Rayna explained, gently turning Juliette’s head so that she was facing her again. “It’s…kind of refreshing, actually. And you know you’re still going to be ten times better at all of this than I am.”

Feeling a smirk return to her face, Juliette responded, “Don’t go building your expectations too high. I don’t want to fall short of what you’ve clearly been imagining for quite a while now.”

“Well, you won’t have any chance of meeting my expectations unless you pick up where you left off.” Rayna’s smile faltered slightly when Juliette hopped off of her and stood up, but she was soon lost for words altogether when the blonde undid the zipper on her dress and let it fall to the floor, quickly joined by her bra.

“Better?” Juliette asked with a grin, and received a mumbled “Mmhmm” in response. Climbing back onto Rayna’s lap, the blonde leaned forward so that her mouth was almost touching the other woman’s ear and whispered, “You can touch me now. Anywhere. I want to know if it’s as good as it was in your fantasies.”

Rayna’s breath hitched as she slowly moved her hands to Juliette’s back and let them travel around to cup Juliette’s breasts. “So much better,” she managed to get out, as Juliette leaned into her touch.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Juliette said, trying unsuccessfully to slide her hands up Rayna’s thighs. “It’s only fair that you strip now, too.”

Rayna pulled Juliette into another kiss and ran her tongue along the blonde’s lips until she opened her mouth, allowing the older woman entry. The feel of Rayna’s tongue battling with her own momentarily distracted the blonde, but when the redhead’s hands began moving down her torso, she remembered what her goal had been a moment earlier and promptly clambered off the older woman, sitting down next to her on the couch. “Go on,” she insisted as she took in Rayna’s disappointed expression. “I’m not going to be the only naked person here.”

“Well, you’re not completely naked yet,” Rayna pointed out, but she reluctantly stood up and sighed before kicking off the high heels she hadn’t removed until now. 

“Do you need help?” Juliette asked – not unkindly – after a moment of watching Rayna just stand there.

“No. No, I’m fine.” Rayna assured her, slightly flustered, and reached behind her back to pull down her zip. She stepped out of her dress, a little clumsily, and wrapped her arms around her middle before turning back to Juliette.

“Happy?” the older woman asked, and before she knew what was happening, Juliette had stood up and grabbed her arms, placing them back at her sides.

“Now I am,” Juliette informed her. The blonde let her lips trail down from Rayna’s collarbone until she reached the material that was still covering the other woman’s breasts, then looked up to meet her gaze. “You’re one to talk about unnecessary self-doubt. How the hell could you ever think you’re anything less than perfect?”

“Well, I’m definitely not as beautiful as I used to be.”

“That’s bullshit,” Juliette said, taking a step backwards and actually raking her gaze over Rayna’s body. “At least, I think it is. Can we take this to the bedroom now? I’m not really interested in waiting any longer to find out what you taste like.”

Rayna shivered and took Juliette’s hand in her own. “This way, then.” They half-ran, half-stumbled up the stairs and once they got to Rayna’s room, Juliette pushed the other woman down onto the bed and climbed on top of her, one of her legs resting between Rayna’s. She could already feel how wet the redhead was through her underwear.

“What do you want me to do?” Juliette asked, looking down at older woman. “Tell me where you want me…my hands…my mouth…”

“Anywhere,” Rayna breathed. “Just…anywhere. Show me – show me what to do.” 

With her mouth, Juliette found where Rayna’s neck met her shoulder and bit down gently, pleased that there would probably be a mark there tomorrow and that her actions elicited a small gasp from the redhead. She started to rock against the leg she was straddling, and sat up slightly, trying to undo the other woman’s bra. Getting frustrated, the blonde ceased her movements and said, a little out of breath, “Sit up. I need this off.” Rayna did as she was told, and Juliette had her bra on the floor in seconds, leaning forward to take one of Rayna’s nipples in her mouth.

Rayna’s hands instantly went to the back of Juliette’s head to pull her closer. “Mmmm yes. More of that. Please.”

The blonde released Rayna’s nipple for a second and chuckled. “I like hearing you beg. Just wait until you feel my mouth in other places.”

“Yes – that – that’s what I want. Now.”

“If you insist,” Juliette said with a smirk, shifting backwards so that her head was where she wanted it to be. She slid Rayna’s underwear down her legs and tossed them onto the floor behind her, glancing up briefly at the other woman before she went any further. “Last chance to turn back.”

Leaning back on her hands, Rayna huffed out, “Juliette, if you waste one more second – ”

“Okay, okay.” And with that, the blonde’s mouth was on Rayna, her tongue dipping inside her quickly before she moved her lips to the other woman’s clit, sucking gently.

“Yes, God yes,” Rayna said, tangling her hands in the younger woman’s hair.

Juliette kept her mouth on Rayna, alternating between making long strokes along the other woman’s centre and using her lips, teeth, and tongue on the bundle of nerves above her opening. After hardly any time at all, the blonde felt the muscles of the legs either side of her start to tense, and Rayna’s grip on her hair tightened.

“Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop,” Juliette heard spill out of the older woman’s mouth. Just to spite her, the blonde lifted her head and gave the other woman a lopsided smile.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, her voice even raspier than usual, and before Rayna could even let out a moan of complaint, Juliette’s mouth had returned to where it was a moment before. It wasn’t long before Rayna was gasping for breath, and Juliette had to hold her hips down as her body convulsed in a moment of pure bliss.

“Fuck, that was amazing. You are amazing.”

 Moving back up Rayna’s body to meet her gaze, Juliette smiled at her mischievously. “Why, thank you. It’s not every day I get a compliment from Rayna Jaymes.”

“Come here,” Rayna said, rolling her eyes and pulling Juliette down to bring their lips together. When she finally broke away from the kiss, she looked slightly dazed. “Man, that’s weird.” At Juliette’s apprehensive look, she clarified, “Good weird, I mean. I’m just not used to…tasting myself.”

“No one’s ever gone down on you before? None of the guys you’ve been with?”

“Nope.”

“Well, that’s a damn shame. You _taste_ fucking amazing.”

Looking away from Juliette, her face turning a little red, Rayna ventured, “I want to make you feel like that. I want to be able to look at you, though, too.”

“Well, that can be arranged,” Juliette said with a smirk, and moved to straddle one of Rayna’s legs again. But before the blonde could do anything else, Rayna’s face lit up with her own mischievous grin and she flipped the two of them over on the bed.

“Much better,” the older woman said, situating herself on top of Juliette.

The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“You’ll be sorry you were so patronising in a second, don’t you worry.” With that, Rayna captured Juliette’s mouth with her own and began trailing a hand down the blonde’s torso. She paused when she reached the younger woman’s underwear, and ran her fingers lightly along the edge of the material. Before her nerves caught up with her, Rayna slid her hand underneath the elastic, her fingers moving easily through the wetness she found there. She felt Juliette’s breath hitch and broke away from the kiss to smirk in response. “Still think I don’t know what I’m doing?” she asked.

“You’re okay,” the blonde husked. “Just don’t get distracted.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Rayna slid two fingers inside the other woman and pulled them out again at an agonisingly slow pace, before finding a steady rhythm and circling the blonde’s clit with her thumb. Watching Juliette’s eyelids flutter shut, Rayna asked her, “Is that good?”

“Yes. Don't stop. Please.” The blonde began to move her hips in time with Rayna’s hand, and soon her face was contorting in pleasure. “So close,” she was able to grind out, and Rayna’s eyes locked with hers when they flew open seconds before she tumbled over the edge.

Rayna waited a moment before sliding her fingers out of the younger woman and bringing them to her mouth, slowly licking them clean (to Juliette’s surprise and delight). After that, she clambered almost-gracefully off of the blonde and situated herself next to her on the bed, resting an arm over the other woman’s stomach.

When Juliette finally found her voice, she exhaled, “That was not half bad.”

Laughing, Rayna replied, “I told you that you wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“Yep. I should have known you were a natural at this, too.”

They both lay there for a moment, neither one speaking, until Rayna broke the silence that didn’t feel as awkward as it should have. “So…I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be unhappy if this wasn’t just a one time thing.” She started to draw abstract shapes on Juliette’s skin with her finger as she waited for the younger woman to respond.

“I guess I wouldn’t be unhappy if that happened again, either.”

Smiling curiously down at the blonde who was stubbornly refusing to meet her gaze, Rayna added, “You know, you’re not worthless, Juliette. Far from it, in fact.”

“Well, I feel so much better now that I have your approval.” Juliette’s tone was harsh, making Rayna stop the movement of her hand and lie back down on the mattress. After a second, though, Juliette spoke up again, her voice much softer. “I’m sorry. I’m just…not used to this. Opening up to people. Trust doesn’t come so easily to me.”

Rayna turned onto her side again to face Juliette, meeting the blonde’s wary gaze. “That’s okay. I’m not in any particular hurry. It’s okay if it takes time.”

“Right. And what if it takes forever? What if I’m always like this, and no amount of time or effort can change that?” The last thing Juliette wanted to do was set herself up for this big of a fall, but the way Rayna smiled at her, like there wasn’t anything she could do wrong…it made her think that she actually had a good chance of making it. Of having this turn out right, for once.

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t try. But it’s up to you. For now, though, I’m here. If you want me to be here, that is.”

Smiling back at the older woman, Juliette felt her body finally relax, and the weight she’d been carrying around for so long seemed to suddenly disappear. “Yeah. I think I do.”


End file.
